Large Families

I don't have much time to follow news stories, but lately I find myself wanting to watch all the interviews involving the woman who had the octuplets. Without getting into my own personal feelings about her decisions, I've been bothered by a lot of the news coverage, but it has nothing to do with her and the octuplets. It has to do with the way people look at big families. Believe me, I know that her case is very different and people are attacking her lifestyle choice to raise 14 kids without a present father, with no job, etc. But, I know first hand how people feel the need to rudely comment on our choice to have a big family. The other day I had locked my keys in the car at Walgreens, so as I waited for Chris to make the 45 minute drive to come rescue me, I had to sit in the pharmacy area and wait. A woman who appeared to be in her late 50's sat quietly watching as I nursed Teresa and directed Isaac and Lily to color with our newly bought crayons. She suddenly said, "You couldn't pay me to do that." Do what? Hang out with my kids? My mind frantically raced, trying to think of something to say to her. I couldn't think of anything to say. A few more seconds passed and she said, "I already raised my three, and they weren't even as close as yours are." I then smiled and said, "I have three more." If there weren't arm rests on her chair I think she would have fallen off her chair. We chatted a bit more, mostly about the ages of my kids, then she left. This isn't the first time we've heard people rudely comment. Some of the other things we've heard are: "Holy S**t!!" as we walk by (no joke!), counting our kids aloud, "You must be busy" said with hostility, and many comments regarding the number of girls we have. I try to push the rude looks and comments back, but it really bothers me that people feel they have the right to judge. I don't (and never would) judge someone who had one or two children. This is their choice and I respect that. So why do people feel they can judge us for having a larger family? Several months after having Isaac I was in the kitchen and felt like someone was missing. I counted, five kids. Still, someone is missing. I counted again, still five kids around me. When Teresa was born I felt like saying, "Finally, you're here! We've been missing you!" The question of why do people have large families can be answered for me in that story. Each of my six kids adds a unique dimension to our house, and we wouldn't be complete without it. When people start making rude comments and looks at our group I often want to ask, "So who do you suggest I give back?" They each are so special to us and we are blessed by each one of them.

I think it is fitting that I write about this today. Today is Chris's birthday, the baby in the family of sixteen children. When Chris and I were engaged and talking about having children in our marriage he said something to me I will never forget. He said his parents clearly could have justified, "We've already got fifteen children. Clearly this is enough. Let's not have anymore." But they didn't. And how blessed my life has been for this. I can't imagine how empty it would be without him and our children. I am truly thankful for his birth 35 years ago. What a day to celebrate!

Happy Birthday!