Broken

It's nice to have a blog to just distress! Today was a rough day as Jaci spent the day with on and off tears. But first, let me back track. I got the call every mother dreads at about 7:00 last night. Chris's voice sounded panicked and I heard the most horrible screaming in the background. Jaci was an hour into her two hour practice with the preteam, a special invitation to practice in hopes of having her make the team this May. All Chris could get out was, "They're taking her to the hospital. Her arm is sticking backwards." Click. I started shaking and crying, feeling a little nauseated after hearing her screams and imagining what she was going through. I grabbed Teresa and Marie while my parents (who just happened to be here visiting) stayed with everyone else. The ride to the Y seemed like an hour, and as I pulled in and ran inside I dreaded what I'd find. The fire department had been called in and an ambulance was waiting at the door. I got there just as they were transporting her out of the gymnasium and onto the stretcher. I rode with her while Chris, Marie and Teresa met us there. The ER was packed. Lots of accidents due to the nice weather and St. Patrick's day. They put us in a police holding room since there was no room for her. She was screaming and the ambulance guy was pacing in and out trying to find a nurse. Finally, a room was cleaned. Then it seemed like we waited forever in the room. She was still screaming on and off. I wanted to go in the hall and yell for someone to come in and please help my little girl! Finally, a calm nurse to talk to. A doctor. Then more doctors. An IV went in with lots of pain meds. An x-ray machine came in, then out, then in again. More nurses. Somewhere in the mix of things I saw her elbow, now on the front of her arm, through the splint. Jaci must have caught my face looking at it because she asked me, "What does it look like, Mom?" through tears. It was so disformed. I managed to say, "Oh, it just looks really bruised." The worst part was yet to come. The x-ray tech didn't know how to get Jaci's arm up on the film tray. She was nervous and rough. Jaci was hysterical. The pain meds didn't help then. I wished I could take it on all for her. After this she calmed down very quickly and handled the news really well. She wasn't scared to hear she'd be going into surgery. She asked what would happen and was happy to hear she'd be asleep. I stayed until they wheeled her away, my heart going with her, knowing she's in good hands, wanting to do more for her, scared of the complications. My dad then met me to help me get Chris's car from the Y and take Marie and Teresa home. Teresa has refused a bottle and prefers screaming instead, so she isn't too far from me for a long period of time. I headed back to the hospital after everyone was in bed and got there in time to walk with Jaci and Chris to the peds room after surgery. She was peaceful and almost happy. Her arm, wrapped tight, was huge. Pins had been put in, but the break, which looked jagged and sharp, went back in relatively well. I can't tell you how much I've praised God for modern medicine in the past 24 hours. Today Jaci is in pain again and hates her itchy, tight cast. She goes on Monday for the soft cast, then in two weeks she'll get the pins pulled out and a hard cast put on. Tonight she cried hard for a long time, saying she was scared. I think the events of the past 24 hours just hit her and she's trying to process and work through them all. Like I said, lucky for me I have a blog and I can write through my feelings. Thanks for listening...